“Don’t say that Pauline that’s not nice,”, it’s not nice but it’s the truth. I am all for a white lie, and I have tried it and it has saved me on many occasions. What I won’t lie about is mental health and how important it is to share our own truth. We see so many nice pictures of fantastic families in lockdown. I am aware that I do this too—, who wants to see a sad picture?
But the ugly truth is this:; we all cry, we all shout, we all stomp around. Homeschooling is by far the most horrible fucking thing I have ever done in my life. And I have shat myself as an adult in the park. I can tell you that was more fun than homeschooling my child. This is the ugly truth.
The truth is some days I don’t think about the dead and sick people; I just try to survive myself. I feel sorry for myself as I can’t go do groceries together with my husband. He will laugh about this as I never stay with him in the store, I always run fast forward while he takes his time by the fresh herbs. I do really enjoy our time together driving in the car listening to the music and getting all our bits and pieces for the week. I guess we needed a fucking pandemic for me to enjoy that little tidbit of my life.
I’ll tell you the truth: I don’t care much about my life in England. The truth is I am meant for greatness, and Beijing has showed me this. I have tasted the grandness of life and I can’t reverse back to normal life in the countryside. The truth is it is beyond boring here. I needed a vacation from my bigger-than-life life in Beijing life. I did not have to move away. But the truth is we did. The truth is I regret this like I have not regretted anything in my life.
The truth is lockdown is not too bad here; the countryside is good for something. It’s not good for hay fever sufferers, but it’s good for being in lockdown during a pandemic.
The truth is I love beautiful pictures, but I also love telling the truth, and regrettably the truth is not always beautiful. The truth will set us free; I will always share and speak my truth about issues I deal with.
The truth is that I will tell you when that skirt you are wearing looks like shit, but I’ll give you a different one so you don’t have go around looking like a fool. That’s the kind of writer and friend I want to be, I want to give you a truth, sometimes I can give advice on how I dealt with this truth but some days I won’t be able to, because the truth is I don’t know………….