I became a mother much earlier in life than I had anticipated and in a more dramatic way than I had ever could imagine. I became pregnant at 25, just as when I started of my career as a chef. I had it all figured out: I would work till I was ready to give birth and I would let my daughter cry till she would sleep through the night. This would take me three days. I had read all the books and listened to all other moms. I would parent and my daughter would listen. I was prepared for all of it; “This could not be so hard,” I thought.
Well, things went a bit differently. I birthed my daughter through nine months of many complications and very difficult situations. I did not envision my absolute shit show of a start in motherhood nor did I ever think I would suffer three years of post-natal depression. I did not understand that motherhood did not come easy to me. Now, seven years later, I still learn each day and surprise myself with the parenting choices I make.
We learn so much about ourselves after becoming a mother.We learn that patience is not a given. Patience is a very expensive pearl that you never have enough of. We learn that marriage is not rock solid; it trembles and sways through parenting problems. We learn that we might not always like our child; we love them 99 percent of the time but they are not always likable. We learn that time is something we don’t have enough of, ever. I remember the first time I went shopping with a friend who does not have kids after I had my child; I was so surprised that she was so calm looking through stuff. I was running around trying to make most of the time I had for myself, because there was no time to take things easy. I was always on borrowed time.
We learn so much each day, but now we are learning that the actual teaching of a child is so hard. I choose to become a mother and I am happy to accept all the difficult things that come with it. But I was neither ready nor happy with teaching my child myself. I rely heavy on the school and do not have enough patience to teach my child myself.
We learn as mothers to constantly let go of our children, yet in these times we try to hold onto them as hard as we can. We learn to become masters of multitasking; not only are we mothers but we are also cooks, teachers, drivers, doctors, and overall masters all in one piece.